Monday, May 19, 2008


Update: my play date went great and i can't wait to do it again. she was super fun, totally relaxed and an inspiration considering what she has on her hands!

my 29th year has been good so far. had some fun times with my hubs and the kiddos and feel like this is going to be a great year.

i am still feeling a little sad about my lack of friends though. i have a few fabulous ones that i wish so badly lived closer! maybe it's als a bit of not being able to relate to too many people in my life. my husband and I get a long fabulously and we pretty much have the same views on the important things (parenting, work, politics, food (LOL!)). i am very thankful this, because I read things on True Mom Confessions that are so disheartening. I read things like "my husband is such an ass. i hate him. he is worthless and irritates me." my response to that is "then why are you married to him, idiot. if he is such an ass, you are too for choosing to marry him, and if things changed and you did nothing about it. it actually infuriates me when people say things like this. but anyway, moving on...

i can't relate to my siblings, my mother, my MIL my SIL or my mother's husband. i wish i could because i think that those are supposed to be anchoring relationships in one's life, no? i have tried to relate to my MIL but she is very angry and bitter, and we have nothing in common. same with his sister. i feel bad about this, because i could do more to be more accepting and forgiving, but i don't really. my husband feels the same, except they are close because they are mother and son. same with my mom and her husband. i don't get them and i don't really try to. i don't try to be tolerant or accepting. i just plain don't agree with them and the choices that they make and i can't come to terms with it. i find myself being annoyed with them even though they are totally helpful with my kids sometimes. i think that my mom is literally starting to lose it from being wardened by someone for the last 15 years and it's starting to show BIG TIME. i kind of feel bad about this, but then again, no one put a gun to her head to marry him.

I do have a good relationship with my dad and step mom because they are normal!! not only can i totally relate to them, they are sane.

i think more so than the fact that i don't have relationships with such people who should be pivotal in my life, it's that i am so lame, i can't be more tolerant of their quirks. you know that by quirks i mean things that irritate me so i want to scream, right?

how do you get past these type of things? or am i the only one in which "kill em with kindness" is not working?


Constance65 said...

I HEAR you loud and clear! Usually the "kill em with kindess" works, but with family it doesn't(at least not for me). I am really at my wit's end with trying to figure out how to have a "normal" relationship with them. So, while I can relate, I guess I don't have any great advice to offer.

Just a question....are you my long lost sister? So much of our lives are alike. it's wild.

Anonymous said...

Glad the play date went well and you have found another mama to connect with.

I really wished you lived closer.

As far as the family goes that is a tough one. I have problems with my SIL and it makes life very difficult. It is totally passive aggressive stuff that drives me insane. Maybe try getting to the root of their dysfunction, it may help you understand them better. Or make you feel sorry for them, which may give you more patience for them. Which I guess isn't the healthiest of ways to deal with it. This is what I do with my SIL but I still loathe her, so my advice totally doesn't help. Okay dude I have no idea. If you figure it out let me know.