Thursday, August 7, 2008

Happy Thoughts

I've been reading a lot of posts lately about how hard it is to be mother. To be responsible for shaping another human being into a responsible, creative, nurtured, smart, and loving little person. It's a big confusing conundrum. I feel like so many other parents who feel confused, overwhelmed and under appreciated. (This is not to say that my husband is not appreciative. He is. Very much so and he frequently shows it.) But a 2 an almost 1 year old can't thank for you cleaning their poop out of the bathtub, or changing their diaper for the 12,097th time.

Whenever I start feeling this, I just try to tell myself that with each year, it will get easier and easier....right? At least they will understand crime and punishment? Right??? Someone please re-assure me. And lets not talk teenage years.

And I try to scoop up a kid and love on them for a few to remind myself that never again are they going to be this amazing age.

And, I also thank goodness I am not Kate. Then I try to picture what it would be like with 6 more children and I suddenly love life exactly how it is.


just me said...

Here's my encouragement....You are doing THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB ON THE PLANET!!! (that's me yelling) And I for one (the internet stranger whose opinion probably won't mean squat:) APPRECIATE what you are doing. As the youngest of our 4 children set off to High school today, I was guiltily reminiscing about how often I found myself too tired to sit down to her millionth tea party or play dollies with her....tho I did try. It's the most overused/trite phrase you have probably heard a million times, but it does go by fast (not fast enuf at times...diaper changes being one of those things I do NOT miss).

It is the hardest, most under-appreciated job you will ever do. But wait till the day when your college son calls to find out how the first day of school went for his siblings...or when 6'2" Joe football player comes in every evening to get his hug before going off to bed. Nothing beats having kids you like as well as love....that's the payoff.

WuhWuh? said...

You know, I'm not much farthur along than you are in the whole motherhood scheme of things, (I have three kids ages 5,3, and 1)but I have noticed one thing.

It doesn't nessacerily get easier, but it does change. And boy is that a relief! After diapers it's potty training and after that it's something else... but BOY am I glad I'm done with diapers for the most part! And boy was a glad when my daughter FINALLY started to acknowledge that I was talking to her.... etc etc.

The challenges change some are easier and some harder.

I know it's hard. VERY hard. And a lot of people just plain don't understand that. But it does pay off! Not imediately (usually) but in the long run.

Man I miss how snuggly my oldest used to be, and how quiet my daughter used to be. But they are trade offs. I'm starting to see the peole they are going to become... and that is just downright COOL.

susan said...

it absolutely, 100% gets easier!! trust me!!!!! do not listen to depressing nay-sayers who seem to enjoy telling mothers who are drowning in the difficulties (and the many lovely things too of course) of small children that it doesn't get easier etc etc.

when my daughter turned 4, it was a huuuuge shift. so much easier, so many of the difficulties of being really small faded away. now, at 5 she can bathe herself, pack up the bath toys, get out of the bath, dry herself off and put on her pj's, brush her teeth, and even read herself a good night story!! ALL BY HERSELF! and this stuff is her choice. i still offer, for example, to read her a story, and often she agrees, but she also often likes to read it to herself in bed too, before switching off her light and going to sleep. she can also entertain herself for much longer periods, can play outside without me having to accompany her (backyard, i'm talking). she's even started sleeping over at her best friend's house!

as i still have a one year old, i still have a good comparison as to the day-to-day demands of very young children, and it is so reassuring when it's hard and tiring with the very normal needs of someone his age to see proof in front of me that it really DOES get easier, and much sooner than many people seem to think. now if we go our to a restaurant or whatever, she can sit reasonably and wait for her food, whereas my son requires entertaining, speedy arrival of food, and NO lingering for coffee. standard toddler stuff.

of course, there are still challenges, some the same as when she was smaller, and some new ones unique to this age (such as talking back, argh!!!), but the all-encompassing demands, the huge physicality of it all, really does get easier. i rarely have to attend to her rear end! she doesn't wake up at night! she can get herself a snack out of the fridge!

but yes, while she is in many ways easier, i still adore the snuggliness of my one year old, the tiny-ness of his fingers, his adorable babble, etc etc ETC. each age has it's delightful bits and it's challenging bits. but the challenging bits of a very small child are definitely relatively short-lived. hang in there!

Constance the Super said...

And if it helps you, as someone who spends a lot of time around teenagers, they're giant pains in the ass, but there's a lot to love about them. They can be really funny and you can be sarcastic with them. Plus, they'll be YOUR pains in the ass.