Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I Need Some Friends...


..or at least one. Welcome to my pity party.

I have a few friends. My BFF from high school lives in LA and while I love her to death, I rarely see her. But when I do it's great! My closest pal that lived near me moved to freaking halfway across the country and I only talk to her about once every 3 weeks. I have a very close friend who I talk to a lot but she lives far away too. Which is a major bummer because I love her to death and know that she would be "the one" (lol) if only she was closer. Boo whoo!

I had a very close friend that was married to my step brother. She basically lost her mind in a meth-infused breakdown and we have lost touch. I am glad because she has become someone that I would never even associate with. Not so much because of the drugs-everyone f's up. I guess I just have a thing about being friend with total pathological liars, manipulators, and over all nutballs. This person is not just a little crazy but clinically insane. Which is weird because in the 2+ years we were close, she did not convey the crazy at her apparent full capacity. She's making up for that now. But that in itself is a whole different story. (One that I am sure that I will talk about here eventually.)

Anyway, I wonder what happened to all my pals? I don't have that one really good pal that I can confide in and talk to about ANYTHING. The one I can call and make her go to farmers market with at the last minute, or who I can call just to chat with. I have some close blogger friends who I really cherish and am so happy to have "met." I feel closer to some of them than I do some of my friends I have in "real life." Maybe it's because they can't judge me, at least to my face.

My lack of friends, it's my fault too. Becoming a mom has made me lazy. And picky. And I have been bad about being a friend too. And being married has made it a wee difficult because my husband has friends I like who have super annoying wives or girlfriends whom I hate. What's wrong with me?

I guess this comes from me wanting to go for girls night out in a few weeks for my birthday and realizing that I have no one to go with....

Waaah!

3 comments:

Constance65 said...

OMG! I know exactly how you feel. My BFF and several close friends are so far away. While I do have a few friends that I talk to on the phone or visit with every now and then, I don't have that one friend either. Motherhood to 4 has changed it for me, I think. Not many mothers want to hang out with a huge brood of 4, not any I have met anyway. So, I feel your pain...friend. Want to move here?

Not So Perfect said...

I am right there with you. I have always had "that one friend" in my life and right now I don't I think that is what I am lacking. My BFF lives 8 hours away, we talk on the phone ALOT, but it isn't enough I need her physically. I struggle so much with making new friends. I just want people to instantly know me to already have a history with them and have a level of comfort that is difficult for me to establish with new friends. I don't want to have to explain my sense of humor I just want them to get it already and not have to worry about being judged.

I do the same thing as far as attracting crack head friends. Uh....I feel your pain too.

Basically I could have written this post too.

I wish we lived closer. I am super cool and down to earth. ha ha ha.

Thank you for your honesty.

Sending you lots of love.

Leonora said...

Well written article.